The lie most people tell themselves.

On temperaments and how people feel the urge to sustain their 'identity'.

Hello guys! how are you doing? My week has been crazy to say the least. I am really trying to decipher how my school expects me to gobble down soo much information in a short period. You breathe and there is a new material to read, quiz, assignment or classwork somewhere. S/O to all Akokites reading this. I’m sending loads of love and hugs.

February is finally here! The year is running out already. I mean, didn’t I just scream Happy New Year last week? I hope you’ve been able to come up with a theme for the year, click here to read my last newsletter on new year themes.

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I was doing the dishes sometime last week and this idea popped in. Funny how I actually get most ideas while doing the dishes lool. So, I was actually thinking about how most people ‘depend’ on their star sign or their temperament to live their lives. Let’s make a scenario.

Sola is Sagittarius(was born between November 23rd-December 21st). Because Sagittarians are naturally mean —which Sola is no exception, he sees no need to change this trait because after all, his zodiac sign says it all.

Ade is Melancholic and like most of them, he is a perfectionist, a critic and prone to depression due to his perfectionist tendencies. Ade also believes there is nothing he can do about it because he was wired that way. Even if he wanted to, he would betray his ‘identity’. So, if you ask Ade why he is so critical, he will probably say something like, You know, that’s just how I am or That’s what my temperament says, It’s not my fault.

Now you get a picture of what I am driving at. People have made their temperament (or zodiac sign) dictate how they are supposed to live or act. They have given it soo much power to shape their lives so if it says they are meant to be timid, critical, obnoxious, lazy, depressed (insert any traits you can think of), they simply let it be.

Image from ResearchGate

Image from ResearchGate

I used to be a perfectionist (something I’m not exactly proud of) and so critical about things, you would find me constantly judging anything I come across (my sister can definitely testify to this lmao). When I read about it and found out I am melancholic (no offence to all the melancholy out there) and these traits come naturally, it further cemented my belief that I was meant to be like that. Crazy innit? It wasn’t until I read a book on temperament, Why You Act The Way you Do by Tim LaHaye (which I totally recommend by the way) that I realized that you aren’t supposed to give in to your temperament-weaknesses. And just because the indeed determine how you think, act, and live generally, doesn’t make it powerful than you. The book properly explained the term Temperament, highlighted the weaknesses of each (there are four) and how to overcome the them. Bruhh, that book was specially made for me. Just what I needed to hear(read)!

And of course, like most things in life, temperament has its good side (called strengths). Melancholic are natural problem solvers, great teachers and innovators, loyal and often self motivated.

Overcoming your temperament-weakness is not so easy (then again, overcoming any weakness isn’t) because you are wired like that. So it takes a whole lot of strength and discipline to re-wire yourself. But it is infact very achievable. At least, I can boldly say I am a recovering perfectionist.

So I’m urging you, to take the courage to re-wire yourself, no matter how deep-rooted it may seem. It is achievable. And also, stop making excuses for your bad traits because your zodiac sign or temperament says so. If your temperament says you are likely to die at age 30, I’m pretty sure you would reject it or say something like “God forbid bad thing” lmaoo.

Soo, we have come to the end of this episodeee! (insert a wide grin emoji).

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See you around,

Yosola.