You mean I have been deceiving myself all this while?
On reinventing oneself, starting over and a quote on imperfection.
Hello guys. I hope the weekend is weekending? As much as I want to rant about the number of things I have to (magically) do today, I think I do that every time so, I’m changing the narrative this time.
Actually, I think I just did rant. Hehe, it is what it is.
So, I realized I have been publishing late lately (pleasee tell me you saw what I did there), which is why I have decided to start earlier today. Hopefully, I complete it in one sitting. So ladies and gentlemen, let’s dive in.
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Last year when I started this newsletter (which still feels like yesterday tbh! I was surprised when Mariam messaged me to tell me that my 1 year anniversary would be December 20. So I have been writing for almost a year? wow, just wow. Will I write about how it has been so far? how I get ‘inspiration’ which somehow, I happen to get asked a lot? my thought process and writing process? Well maybe, maybe not. Anyhoo, cheers to one year of consistently showing up even when I had reasons not to —and trust me, there were a lot of reasons😅. Also, S/O to everyone that has once shared, commented, liked, sent kind words to my DM or said them to me physically or interacted with me in any way concerning my newsletter. Y’all are the real MVPs and I do not take any of it for granted❤. End of rant, now where was I?) I had something entirely different in mind. This was my first publication (and one of my fav actually) which I still find very much relevant to date.
Like everyone would advise before you start anything, have a why. I had one —and a strong one as at that— but somehow it wasn’t right. My motivation at that time was entirely different which is why sometimes, I cringe when I read my old publications. Not that they were horrible or anything, reverse was the case actually.
As I gained more clarity and gathered more insight, I realized that my why was not exactly appropriate. (Now you're probably wondering, it’s just writing newsletter nau, it’s not that deep. Well, I hate to break it to you, but having a why is as important as the idea you want to work on, but that’s a story for another day.)
It was weird for me because that was the foundation on which I built so many things, but I knew I had to review everything. So, writing at that phase was hard because I didn’t even know why I was writing anymore. I remember a friend asking me one time Yosola, what’s your why? and I went blank or when Zainab asked me What are your goals for your newsletter? how do you measure it? what are your plans for the newsletter in 5 years? and I was blank too (actually, I still don’t know where I see this newsletter in 5 years lool). But as I gained more clarity about myself, I did with writing too, and my motivation as to why I write and what I write about changed too.
So, it was incredibly difficult to write at that time because I was confused and blank, (I remember contemplating stopping because I felt the connection wasn’t there anymore and there was no point) but somehow, I was able to sit through the whole transition phase till I was able to understand what I was doing again.
As we grow older, we might realize that we have based our career, relationships, jobs (or lives in general) on values, belief systems, and thought processes that are not exactly ‘true’ or ‘appropriate’, or we come to realize that the things we value the most are just an illusion, which can be devastating. We then think, so you mean all this while I have been deceiving myself? Where do I even start from?
While I can not exactly answer those questions, I would ascertain that there is nothing wrong in realizing that our approach to things isn’t exactly the best, no matter how deeply rooted our belief may seem or how much investment has gone into it. What matters is our ability to recognize those values, beliefs or however the case may be, that no longer serve us, and take the huge step to change even if it seems scary to start over.
So if a person realizes after 3 years that the vision for their startup company was not even feasible to start with, or at the launch stage that their business idea doesn’t solve any problem, or their view on certain issues are no longer the same (even if they once advocated for it), they don’t throw all the work away just because it no longer makes sense. They simply acknowledge, evaluate and reinvent the system till it aligns with their new belief.
As humans, we may have to constantly reinvent ourselves as many times as possible. So when we get to that phase, I hope we get the courage to review and change the things that no longer serve us. Also, I hope that the universe takes it easy on us as we go through these phases and that it’s all worth the discomfort in the end.
Although I had a really busy week with very little time to read, I continued Muhammed Ali’s autobiography. But as I type this, I can’t exactly remember any excerpt from the book, but I hope to make it up with this beautiful quote on Imperfection by an author Anne Lamott.
“Almost everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, scared, and yet designed for joy. Even (or especially) people who seem to have it more or less together are more like the rest of us than you would believe. I try not to compare my insides to their outsides, because this makes me much worse than I already am, and if I get to know them, they turn out to have plenty of irritability and shadow of their own. Besides, those few people who aren’t a mess are probably good for about twenty minutes of dinner conversation.
This is good news, that almost everyone is petty, narcissistic, secretly insecure, and in it for themselves, because a few of the funny ones may actually long to be friends with you and me. They can be real with us, the greatest relief. As we develop love, appreciation, and forgiveness for others over time, we may accidentally develop those things toward ourselves, too."
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Have a great week!
Yosola.
Welcome back
Nice one as always.