We must also learn how to deeply think and act for ourselves.
So we must, by ourselves, dissect and refine them according to our own personality, conditioning, belief system, set of values etc.
Hey guys! How are you doing? I’m doing pretty well. I had a great rest this weekend (I think I slept a whole week’s worth of sleep today lol) and I am well rested and ready for what the next week holds.
Without further ado, let’s get into today’s newsletter.
So, I was scrolling through Twitter one day and I came across a tweet that said (not the exact words) “The best way to build a product is in public. People can see your process, they learn from your experiences as you go and you’ll also be accountable to them” and I thought, “Well, fair enough”.
Then a few weeks after, on the same bird app, I came across another tweet that said “The best way to build a product is in private. If it flops, no one will know. If it doesn’t, then you show everyone”
And I thought, now which one do I go with?
You see, we humans are complex beings, no doubt. And what makes this so is not just our complex brains or the myriads of emotions we feel. I would like to say it’s our conditioning, the experiences we’ve lived, what we have and haven’t been exposed to, our personality, our values, our belief system and a long list of things that make us whole.
Because no two people have the same conditioning and have lived the same experiences at the exact same time, we would most likely think and make decisions differently.
If I am naturally a risk taker, for example, I can invest all my money in a stock that isn’t stable, and when it goes south, I’ll just mutter something like “Well, that’s part of life”.
The same thing applies to the tweets above. Let’s assume the first tweet is from a person who has witnessed first-hand the advantage of building in public. And due to their own conditioning and lived experiences, they would advise anyone to go that path.
And the second, from someone who building in public hasn’t turned out nicely for. Plus, due to their conditioning (say they are introverted and reserved), they would advise anyone to NOT go that path.
What is common among these two people is that their approach to decision-making is based on their own conditioning, which brings me to the very thing I want to point out.
Most times, when we advise people on certain things, we may unconsciously offer them advice based on our own experiences (if we have any), emotional attachment to the thing in question, what we believe, our values etc. All these things come into play.
If you ask me about how to go about an application that I personally found challenging (and probably even got rejected) I would most likely tell you a tale about how difficult it is to get in and perhaps why you shouldn’t keep your hopes too high.
In the same vein, when people offer advice, I try not to label them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I realize that whatever advice they are offering is based on whatever has worked for them. So we must, by ourselves, dissect and refine them according to our own personality, conditioning, belief system, set of values etc. We must uncover which is based on whatever emotional attachment and which is a proven system.
We may find some very useful gems on how to approach the problem. We may find a solution that has been proven to save lives, and now somewhat set in stone. We may find a solution void of whatever emotional attachment. Our duty as the receiver is to figure out which and stick to it.
This is not to ignore the fact that some people give great advice based on deep-rooted facts and generalized systems or laws. Advice based on the knowledge they themselves have acquired over the years and has been proved to work for them. Advice void of emotions or personality traits. Somehow, this set of people have managed to separate themselves (and their emotions) from the problem and draw out the lesson they need.
My point is, as much as we may occasionally seek peoples’ opinions on how to go about certain issues, we must also learn how to deeply think and act for ourselves.
I write about my learnings on personal growth, life, lessons, and experiences. Kindly subscribe and share if you find it relatable.
Have a fantastic week!
Yosola.
You need to filter whatever advice you receive and eventually do what works for you.
Thank you Yosola,
Fiel.
So true
Social media isn't the real world
Our real life acts shouldn't be all about social media stance